Life builds in expectations. It's hard to see structural expectations when things fall in line the way they are supposed to. Absence reveals structure. You don't see the posts and joists in your house because they are covered up with drywall and paint and carpet. What if the contractors never showed up to install any of that stuff and you moved in anyway?
Our entire life has been built in anticipation of children. We married young, went to university, bought a three bedroom house in a decent neighbourhood close to good schools. We have reliable four doored vehicles, good steady careers, and a dog.
The foundation is good. The roof doesn't leak and the walls are solid, but it's still hard to tell what each room is going supposed to be. You can see from one side all the way across to the other and it echos strangely. Apparently drywall isn't my thing and I can't get a contractor to call me back.
It occurred to me the other day, changing the floor plan at this stage could be pretty easy. Knock down a few walls, add a window here and there, maybe just pick the whole damn thing up and move it on down the road. A few changes to the structure might make the absence into a cool minimalist thing instead of just some unfinished suburban cutout. I'm left with a decision: is redesigning the same as giving up?
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